Free Resume Critique

This week, I am evaluating a  resume  from an entry level job seeker, who just graduated in 2008.  I am glad she came to me for advice and I am also glad that she has enlisted my resume writing service because she really needs some help.  This will be a 3 part post.  I will post the before resume below.  I will then follow that up with my resume critique and then since I am writing her resume, I will also show you the finished product.  My hope is that by looking at the before and after, you will be able to gain some knowledge and tips on what you can do to improve your own resume.  Of course, if you are looking to outsource your resume writing to a professional, you can always email me at info@careercopilot.com for more information.

Here is the before (personal information omitted to protect the innocent)

Summary

I am a recent graduate from the University of South Florida.  I am currently seeking a challenging opportunity to initiate my professional career. 

I have always enjoyed the competition of athletics and have previous experience working with a professional sports organization.

I have been very active on campus with a variety of activities where I organized and managed effective programs and initiatives.

I am confident that my organizational skills and leadership ability will prove to be an asset within your organization.

Qualifications

·        Both fun and dependable:  voted most likely to “make you laugh” and a “go-to” person on campus when something has to get done

·        I consistently take on leadership roles and obtain results: planning successful events (sorority Olympics) and organizing recruitment drives

·        Willing to take on new tasks and challenges: served as Kappa Delta Vice President and have served as President during transition periods

·        Training skills: responsible for development of new members within the sorority

·        Very dependable, on past jobs I have always been committed to succeed and exceeded employer expectations

Work/Experience History

·        Seminole Hard Rock Casino / July 2008 to present / Retail sales

·        Tampa Bay Lightning / 2007 / Interned within the sales organization

·        Bakers Shoes / 2004-2005 / Retail sales

Education

·        BS University of South Florida / Graduated December 2008 / Interdisciplinary Social Sciences

Achievements and Responsibilities

1.       Member of Rho Lambda, Greek honor society

2.       Kappa Delta Sorority:

·        Vice-President, in charge of overall control and development of the New Members

·        Guard, in charge of the installation of new chapter officers and organization of all ritualistic services

·        Maintenance of the operating budget

3.       Panhellenic Council:

·        Executive Board (VP of Communications), responsible for all public relation efforts for the Panhellenic Association / served as a Liaison between Panhellenic Association and community organizations

·        Planning and successful conclusion of recruitment week for over 300 women

·        Responsible for sorority marketing

4.       I was responsible for a committee whose objectives were: improving public and USF Relations and Inter-Greek Liaison    

5.       Durant High School:

·        Awarded Outstanding Senior of the Year

·        Played varsity golf and tennis 4 years, and served as team captain